Bryan Dijkhuizen

Do All Cats Have Their Own Secret Lifes?

The question is as old as time. Do cats have a secret life?

When you look at the cat in the thumbnail picture you might think they do, look at the grumpy face — he’s hiding something. Something we can’t know.

What do cats do when their owners are out for school, work or friends? Do they sleep all day or are they going on crazy adventures with their cat friends?

Or, like Speedy, are they trying to fight ghosts to defend their house? Some cats are very sensitive and detect spirits, energies, or ghosts — call them however you want.

Maybe purchase a cat if you’re having unwanted guests?

Are Cats Lonely?

If you think your cat is lonely, reconsider.

Research has shown us that when cats are lonely they tend to be extremely loud. But what if they’re just trying to tell you what cool adventures they have?

Or maybe, when your cat is aggressive towards you or other people, consider the idea that your cat is on a secret mission to kill you.

You can easily check that by reading this book.

I reckon cats to form groups and plan an attack on the human race one day to take over the planet. Prove me wrong.

Neighborhood Gossip Groups

I have very convincing evidence, which I due to confidentiality will not show, that my cats have a little gossip group with the cats from the neighborhood.

They chat about us.

Talking, or meowing, about their lives and their humans. They see us as pets instead of the other way around.

They obviously discuss how they can annoy us.

Of course, like in our world, some cats aren’t getting fed enough — so they share their food. That’s how stranger cats from the neighborhood suddenly show up in our houses to eat.

Would cats have politics? How do they organize elections? Cast votes by meow or paw?

When The Sun Goes Down

Our cats used to go out after sundown. Now they’re old and they don’t.

But when they were younger and were allowed outside — they went to wild cat parties.

But what happens at these parties you might wonder?

I’ll tell you.

Imagine a big barn with cat poles everywhere, meowy music, and treats. That’s cat heaven, right?

Don’t forget the fancy glasses with bottled water in them — no tab, and drugs.

Loads of cat drugs: catnip makes them go high instantly.

But they have to be aware, nobody can know they’re partying like this. So that’s why the older cats can’t come — they’ll snitch on them and then they’re screwed and cat parties are over.

So keep an eye on your cat after sunset.

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