We’re all too worried.
We should stop worrying about the things we don’t and can’t control.
It even sounds useless.
“Why worry about the things we can’t control?”
Once you’re a real Stoic , you stop doing this. Because worrying about the things that happened to you over which you have no control is only going to result in more frustration.
There are certain things in life you can control. You should take a look at which they are.
For example:
- Your career.
- Your love life.
- The people you surround yourself with.
- Your workout.
- The way you live your life.
The things you don’t control:
- The way people see you.
- The way people respond to you.
As you can tell, it’s mostly the things that other people do that can make you frustrated — other people aren’t worth it worrying about.
Focusing on Present Day & Not on the Past or Future
“Every man’s life lies within the present; for the past is spent and done with, and the future is uncertain.” — Marcus Aurelius
There’s nothing more true than this.
If we could change or influence the past or future, things would get mad and I certainly wouldn’t want that.
Things are going in a way for a reason. Don’t doubt “the universe”.
A real stoic doesn’t focus on the past or the future, he or she focuses on the present because that’s where you can change yourself and make a change to the world.
If you want to get better at basketball, you can blame your parents for not going with you or not having enough money to get you a proper trainer.
But that’s not going to change anything.
You can dream about one day you’ll be a pilot. But you’re not doing anything for it? That’s not going to change anything.
Get those basketball classes, and take that pilot study.
 Bryan Dijkhuizen | 🔰 Build Your Empire |
Stop Caring About Other People’s Opinions
One of the main points of Stoicism if you’re asking me is not worrying or caring about other people’s opinions.
It’s the fact that you can’t alter someone’s opinion about you.
The only thing you can do to make them like you try as hard as you can, but if in the end this person ends up not liking you — that’s their problem, not yours.
That’s why you should care about people’s opinions if you wouldn’t take advice from them.
It shouldn’t matter what they say.
It’s All About Self-Acceptance
Without self-acceptance , you will live a miserable life.
I can’t imagine someone living a good life without having fully accepted who they are, who they want to be, and how they want their life to be.
It’s those determined people that lead happy lives. Not the doubters.
Naturally, doubtful people turn into determined people because they found out about the happiness that’s hidden in the sky. You just have to find it, and it starts with accepting yourself.
Kishimi explains that every problem you have comes down to “Interpersonal Relationships” — if you think about it, it makes so much sense.
A great example is the fact that once you have people around you, you start caring about certain things such as your appearance, your behavior, and the things you say.
You wouldn’t do that if you were alone.
If you were completely alone, all day, all year, you would stop caring about the opinion of others — because there are no other people.
But because there are always people around, whether they’re down the stairs or 5000 miles away, you will always care about someone’s opinion — that’s natural human behavior.
But it’s bad behavior if you want to become happy and start accepting yourself.
Your true self. Not the self you want people to see.
There’s been a trend that’s not very promising regarding this topic.
We tend to rather change ourselves than accept ourselves, for example, plastic surgery, fake social media lives, etc, you get the point.
No wonder many of these people regret their choices and get the fillers or synthetic body enhancements out of their body after a while — it’s bad for your mental health, but also your health in general.
Being unhappy with yourself doesn’t only cause these reactions, but also gives you stress about your personality, especially for younger people who experience this in school and on social media.
Being true to yourself is the key lesson here.
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